What makes us who we are? Each of us is formed to some degree by the experiences of our lifetime. We add new dimensions with each event. I was raised in the “Leave it to Beaver” era. I began to express myself in poetry as a child, simple though it was. I had a pretty idyllic childhood, perhaps too easy in ways, because I was always searching for a deeper meaning beyond a great family, loving parents, and an intelligent mind. I think that's what was behind a lot of my adventurous spirit and rebellious nature. Even as a child, I was a softie for animals and for the natural environment. I went to college, got a degree in elementary education, went through the usual traumatic loves, began taking joy in my resentment of authority, and continued writing poetry..mostly a poetic diary. Many of the occupations I had interest in were not available to women in those days...teaching turned out to be a perfect job for me, though, and I recently retired after finishing my career in education as a principal. I have now retired and moved to Oregon to be closer to my son and granddaughter, after over 36 years in Alaska. I also grew up in the “John Wayne” era. That resulted in a union with someone whom I believed had a stronger will than I, which then resulted in a very eventful and very stormy 30 year marriage. My need to find a deeper meaning in life led to a self imposed search that took me many places. During that time, I was a political activist, full-blown hippie, spiritual seeker, waitress, construction worker, homesteader, maid, teacher, and a number of other things and all that goes with them. I have nearly frozen to death, nearly starved to death, and have had my first child die in my arms at a little over a year old. I lived with very little, well below any poverty level, for many years. I completed my master's degree and almost a doctorate, while “”maximizing my career options”. I raised two wonderful children of whom I am deeply and forever proud. I learned many new things while they were growing up. Karate, TaeKwonDo, fencing, coaching, music mom, soccer mom, feeling the pain of your children, house fires, working three jobs at once, living rough in the wilderness with children, and a whole lot more! Seeing the amazingly caring and beautiful adults they have become makes every step on my journey exactly the right one. Fate brought me an unexpected gift of happiness when I met my second husband. We had a wonderful 12 years together, but he is much younger than I, and we have now parted so he can make and raise a family of his own. I'm grateful for the time we had together and the years of peace it brought me. Much of my work deals with the environment, social commentaries, or things of an inner spiritual nature. I am not religious, in that I completely reject organized religions and most of what they promote. I am, however, highly spiritual and that colors everything I write (and do) in some way. Much of my writing comes from something very specific in my experience, but I try to write in such a way that each reader can easily apply his or her own interpretation. I feel my writing has stretched immensely since finding my fellow Black Roses and I am proud to be a member of the Black Rose Poet's Society and to share poetic growth with such a talented and multi-faceted group.

THE VICTIM

She is a beautiful opal
Lying against black velvet,
Draped in a cape of gauzy white.
She is serene and patient
In her meditation of life,
When one views her from afar.
She is a tireless giver,
Giving of herself
To those who depend on her sustenance.
She offers her body freely,
Asking little in return,
Wishing silently for respect.

But while we admire her
And say that we love her
And say we respect her...
We poison her blood.
We cover her in filth.
We cut her and maul her.
We rape her savagely.
We suffocate her slowly.
Laughing as we go....

And we look at her ravaged body,
Seeing nothing but what we want.
And we smile with satisfaction...
As we call her our mother.



Carol Dixon (Digou) ©2005